Today I had one of the most humbling moments in my life, sitting in a dark exam room with my wife while she had an ultrasound, and for the first time we heard our baby's heartbeat and could see the outline of what is our son or daughter, who I am exceeding overwhelmingly excited to meet in November.
But in those moments, a couple things came to mind, and I'm going to share them with you.
1) God is amazing - This sounds so simple, but is also so profound. The God who built the entire universe by simply speaking it into existence is also the sovereign God who is over 9 months causing all the things happening to Carrie's body to grow this child. The fact that this process happens is a humbling act in and of itself, but then the grace of God making itself known through advances in technology is incredible. To think that God has enabled us to develop technology that allows us to hear our baby's heartbeat and that we live in a place where that is accessible, it's truly wonderful.
2) The fragility of life - Our baby is right now 1.7 cm in length, roughly the size of a big raspberry. Right now the life that is in Carrie's womb is so fragile, and we have to be careful with what she eats and at this point nothing sounds good to her. But how fragile our child is, how delicate his/her life is. We are humbled by this, and daily pray for our baby's safety and healthy growth. We know that at any moment the worst could happen, and trust in the Lord with this.
3) The fact that I am not in control - This is the hardest one to swallow, that I am not in control of what happens. As a guy, this is very difficult. I want to protect my wife and child, I want to ensure their safety, I want to provide for them and make sure that nothing harms them. I want so desperately for our child to be saved, but I can't even control that.
These are just a few of the many thoughts going through my head today in those brief moments hearing my baby's heart beating and seeing his/her shape develop, many more to come. Keep praying for Carrie, me, and the life that God has entrusted to us. We are not worthy, but He is gracious and good to us.